Intentional Living

Connecting with Adult Children: Be flexible, creative, and intentional.

Of the three of us ladies at Rhubarb and Rubbish, I am the only one that is an empty nester. The three kids are all in their early 20s but doing various different things from living in another community, raising their own children, and buying houses. All three are busy working and living, while I am still busy working and living. As you can imagine, connecting regularly presents challenges.

For my son, who lives in town, I am usually guaranteed to see him once a week at our Friday night family suppers with my parents and sister and her family who live in town. Friday night suppers were started a couple of years ago and have blessed us all. My stepson is raising two new twin girls and is busy, as you can imagine. We get updates via text—although it has been a while since I have gotten any new pictures! My daughter lives 2.5 hours away, but we talk and text regularly and often have FaceTime lunch together. I love FaceTime lunch. We just connect with each other during the lunch hour and eat and visit.

What I have found since our kids have left home is that I have to be intentional about reaching out to them. It’s not that they don’t want to call me, but they get busy and their social lives are way more complex than mine. I also realized that each one of them requires a different kind of connection from me. My daughter requires more time to process life–we talk on the phone and FaceTime often. My son requires advice on practical matters and how-tos–we chat on Fridays, text, and call for quick check-ins periodically. My stepson requires loving support–we text and send pics. Regardless, my job as the mom of an adult child is to reach out and let them know I still love and support them as they tackle adulting, being there for them when and how they need me.

What are the unique ways you connect with your adult children? Please share in the comments below.

Contributed by Liz Hunt

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